Inner child work

So I’ve talked about inner child healing before and it’s a big topic in therapy and wellbeing circles. In fact as I’m sat here in a busy cafe drinking coffee in town I can see lots of different behaviour patterns being played out in kids and parents alike. Its where my former early years professional role and therapist role collide… childrens behaviour being the language of their needs.

When these needs are not met in very early childhood (key attachment time frames are 0-3 for child/parent attachment and teenage years for peer attachment damage) and the environment is inconsistent, unsafe and/or chaotic children put in place the most amazing range of adaptive behaviours to survive. These patterns of behaviour become embedded in long term procedural memory. They form the basis for our connections with others throughout our life.

This is the thing about trauma therapy though… I’m working with phenomenally over adapted people! Not broken… but actually highly resourced and skilled at avoiding or eradicating danger.

But what does that inner child look like now when you connect with him/her? Take a moment to travel back along a timeline to younger you. What do you see and importantly what do you feel?

One of the things that’s really effective with children is creating some mantras for self worth, to boost and reassure. As adults we use can use affirmations for many things but let’s connect now to your inner child. They may have been 7 or 9 maybe younger. What did they need to hear?

Heres a list of some of my younger clients affirmations and super hero power statements. These are the things children say to themselves to feel good. Try it on your inner child to nurture and give them confidence in themselves.

  1. I am brave
  2. I am confident
  3. I am a brilliant friend
  4. I’m a beautiful soul!
  5. I’m an awesome human!
  6. I always try hard
  7. I am calm
  8. I have courage
  9. I am strong

Notice how the focus is on character not looks or appearance. I love these affirmations as they can’t get rejected by your inner child as they’re authentic.

Use them when you’re sleepy as our brain is better able to take on board positive intentions when its relaxed. Make a quick recording of them to play whilst you doze off. Imagine your child self as a super hero.

Happy weekend y’all xx

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Psychotherapist and coach, mother and lover of the outdoors. Trauma worker, advanced EMDR practitioner, clinical hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner. Helping you be your best possible self.